Testimonies

Stories of Wounded Hearts

"After the births of each of my living children, I experienced nightmares where I was frantically searching the bed for the "lost" baby. My fear was not for my new baby because I knew that one was safe. It was for the other one that I was searching-the one I would never find-the one that I was never told I might miss someday."

"It is eleven years since my abortion. Trying to get pregnant has been one of the greatest heartaches for me. I continually think of the abortion and I feel enormous guilt. Each period pulls me into a depression and fear of being punished. I feel my husband would leave me if I ever shared this secret of my past. So I continue to carry on . . . . all alone.

"Next to the pain of the abortion, the next pain was the fact I couldn't grieve with my husband. He just couldn't face it. When he would start to consider the horror of it all, he would stop short and "tune out." I personally think it was too depressing for him to contemplate. I felt completely alone. I grieved alone. I hated him for that. This impacted every area of our marriage. I was repulsed by his touch and felt so much anger it was impossible to be close to him."

"I felt if I didn't marry my aborted baby's father, no one else would want me because of what I'd done. My sense of unworthiness increased, and my ability to do the right thin in raisin a child was in question. My husband was abusive, but I felt he was treating me as I deserved. My abortion made me feel like dirt, and I allowed other to walk all over me."